You’re ready to meet singles and find that special someone, so let’s go!
You might have a few initial questions such as, where do I meet people or what do I say when I first meet them?
Well, dating in the 21st century can be a little daunting, but don’t fret... I’ve got you covered. In this post, you’ll learn where to meet people, what kickstarter conversation topics to use, and how to create your perfect online profile (and stay safe while doing so).
Now, relax, this post will give you all those nitty gritty dating tips that will help you meet quality singles, on and offline.
Where to meet singles
If you’ve been actively going out (and striking out), you might feel like there’s no place left to look. Alternatively, if you’re shy, there may be anxiety around what places to go where you will be comfortable meeting that new special someone. That seems like work! Trust me, I know. But it doesn’t have to be so stressful.
In either case, take the effort out of where to meet singles. Instead, prepare by thinking about what you like to do and where you like to do it. This is an important part of meeting like-minded people. Do you like to travel? A beach is a great place to meet someone and that someone may love the ocean, just like you.
I know, easier said than done. Are you short on ideas of where to go? Drawing a blank when I asked you about what you like to do? If you need some more inspiration, check out these 7 Places to Meet Someone in Real Life (including my personal favorite!).
What do I say…?
Okay, so you figured out where to meet quality singles, but what do you say? Great question! Starting a conversation and breaking the ice is sometimes just a bit uncomfortable. The hardest part of starting a conversation with someone attractive is that little thing in our head called... fear of rejection. It hurts, but there are various techniques you can employ to boost your confidence, so you can start having some REAL conversations.
One typical pattern I’ve noticed in working with hundreds of singles is that people have a fear of talking to someone they find attractive. Have you ever had that tongue-tied feeling where the back of your mind is yelling at you to just say something? Well, take a deep breath, because this is a totally normal feeling, and it’s why I wrote, How to Have a Conversation with an Attractive Stranger.
Be cool, calm, and confident because you have some great things to say – everyone does! The first step is finding common ground. That’s the easiest way to connect to someone new – find something you both have in common and talk about it.
Are you smiling while talking about this wonderful topic? Smiling makes you seem more approachable and researchers have shown that it can also boost your mood.
Remember, it’s a two-way conversation. That means balancing how much you talk, because you don’t want to talk too much, but you also don’t want to be the only one asking questions. Showing interest in your partner’s conversation will not only make them feel good about themselves but also spark their interest in wanting to learn more about you.
Next stop... dipping your toe into the ONLINE dating pool.
Online dating has been around for over 20 years, but it has truly evolved, so let’s take a deeper dive into the ABCs of modern dating and how to meet singles virtually.
What if I’m talking to someone online?
That’s great! Online dating has taken flight and is another popular way of meeting people. One of the biggest challenges online daters face is choosing the right profile picture to use. Because of the nature of online dating, potential matches will see your physical appearance (just like in real life) before they get to know who you are as a person. Are you concerned about what kind of pictures to post to attract the right match for you? Look no further.
So, is this all about looks?
No, my dear friend, it’s not. You want these photos to show the different dimensions of you. Not just how you look. It’s something different for everyone. Maybe you want to present your adventurous side, or maybe you want to show more of your professional accomplishments. In either case, in today’s dating climate you get to choose how to best represent yourself. However, research shows us that using photos with open body language makes a difference in photos, so select photos that showcase your uniqueness and the best you. If you’re still curious about what kind of photos to add and how to take those photos, use these 5 Photo Shoot Tips That’ll Help Boost Your Online Dating Profile and Attract the Right Matches.
Prepping for your profile pic.
Hydrate and rest the night before. I know this little, but important factor is often overlooked. Being well rested leads to taking the quality pics you’re searching for. Do you ever wake up in the morning before a big day and wonder what you’re going to wear only to be unsatisfied with everything you try on? This tip will help you avoid that morning frenzy. Plan your outfits the night before your photo session. It sounds like more work, but you will appreciate your organized self the next morning. Guys, this is for you too!
Okay, this one is for all the ladies and gents out there who like to treat themselves. Schedule your glam squad. What do I mean by that? Treat yourself! Plan a day at the spa, get a massage, or schedule a trip to the hair salon? Whatever gets you through.
These next 2 photo session tips are important.
- First, practice your pose. This will give you confidence when you’re actually in the photo shoot and make it feel more authentic.
- Last, but certainly not least, create a playlist of your favorite songs! Music will help you feel relaxed and happy during the photo shoot. Besides, who doesn’t love a good jam session.
So, how do I find my plus one online -- safely?
I hope you’re still with me, because now I’m going to dig into How to Find Love Online and some of the red flags you need to be aware of to date safely online.
Tips for approaching people online
When you meet singles online, making the first move requires a different skill set than in real life. So, here are my top tips for you to have online success.
- Online Dating Tip #1: Read your prospective match’s profile. This sounds obvious, but it’s important to read their profile to understand who they are. If they asked a question at the end of their profile, it’s a great icebreaker to reply with your answer.
- Online Dating Tip #2: Don’t copy and paste messages. You want to personalize your messages to your match’s specific interests.
- Online Dating Tip #3: End a message with a question. Psst. People love to talk about themselves, and they love questions.
- Online Dating Tip #4: Use proper grammar and punctuation. You heard me. You want to use your literacy skills to make a good impression and present your best self. Your initial online connection is similar to a first date, so consider what you would and wouldn’t do on a first date, then make sure you incorporate that wisdom into your online dating life.
Now, the online dating RED FLAGS.
One of the biggest concerns when you meet singles through online dating is safety -- uncovering red flags. If you aren’t sure what to look for, pay attention to these specific alarm bells.
- Do your research. Look for social media profiles to see if your match has pictures and information about themselves.
- Watch out for scams. Look at the email you’re given, because if an email looks unusual, it could be a phishing scam.
- Did your match disappear for a long period of time with no explanation? People are busy, we know this. But if your match is consistently disappearing for an extended period of time, they may be hiding something from you.
- Pet names. You may love pet names, but pet names from someone you’ve only just met online means your match may not have or respect boundaries.
- Overly flirtatious and sexual messages. This is a huge red flag. It’s important to address your expectations and boundaries when you’re online dating.
Let’s get real about who you date online.
There are some safety risks that need to be considered. How do you know that charming man or woman you met online is who they say they are? Lucky for you, I have two apps that can help you with these concerns, which you can read about in 2 New Apps Expose the Truth About Who You Date Online.
- Apps to Help You Meet Singles Safely - #1: Stud or dud. This free app promises to decipher between the studs and duds with some good basic details about marital status and more so you can feel confident walking into your first date.
- Apps to Help You Meet Singles Safely - #2: Aste. Meet your new private detective, in app form. For a small price, Aste will check up on personal information to make sure you’re meeting who your match claims to be.
You’re now ready to enter the world of dating, equipped to meet great quality singles. You know where to meet them, how to start conversations, AND you know how to improve your online dating profile as well as how to stay safe while doing so.
There’s one last thing you need to know before you go meet your match. Another way to meet quality singles that isn’t often talked about is matchmaking.
Matchmaking helps successful people find their life partner, someone compatible not only physically, but who also shares your life goals and their deepest-held values.
Want to Learn How to Hire A Matchmaker You Can Trust? You need to look for these 3 things:
- Someone who has a proven process and methodology.
- Someone who has a successful relationship of their own.
- Someone who has a successful track record.
These 3 qualities will ensure you’re in the hands of an experienced professional who’s dedicated to finding you the perfect other half.