Do you want to meet singles, but you get overwhelmed by the dozens of online dating sites out there on the Interwebs?
Dating sites now cater to our every desire and personality type… from cougars to cowboys and beyond.
I was listening to the radio and heard the story of a woman complaining about how she couldn’t figure out the right dating site to find a match for her taste.
As a Professional Matchmaker, I find that professional singles have an intention to get out there and date, but either don’t have time to do it organically (aka face-to-face, at the bar, etc.), or don’t know where to start (or both).
To help you get closer to what you’re looking for in your dating life, here are 5 things to consider when choosing a dating site to meet singles:
1. Set relationship goals.
Setting a clear goal for what you want in a relationship will help you find what you’re looking for in the sea of available singles out there.
With a clear goal, you’ll have a more structured idea of the values you want your ideal partner to have. You’ll also have more direction into the lifestyle you want based on the interests that are important to you.
After you have your goals written down, you’ll then use that information to pick dating sites based on your chosen criteria. For example, if you're looking for someone spiritual, a site like Meetmindful.com would be more appropriate for you than a mainstream dating site like Match.com.
2. Location. Location. Location.
One of the biggest stumbling blocks when you want to meet singles is getting hung up on distance or how far is the other person from you.
This is especially noticeable for those who live in major cities as their common plight sounds somewhat like this: "I only want to date someone who’s no more than 15-20 miles away from me because traffic can be challenging, and I don’t want to deal with it."
I totally get it… especially since I've lived in metropolitan cities all my life. Unfortunately, this “15-mile radius mindset” is limiting your dating success rate.
The larger the database of the dating site, the broader its geographical reach.
So, here’s what you can do: If you're in the suburbs and live more than an hour away from a major city, choosing one of the bigger online dating sites is the best way to go because you’ll have access to the metropolitan population.
The opposite is also true. If you live in the suburbs (or the city, for that matter) and you want to see more profiles of people closer to where you live, then use a more “niche” or non-mainstream dating site to get the results you want.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes for you!
3. Treat online dating like buying a car.
Each dating site has its own look and feel to attract a specific type of person.
If you were in the market to buy a BMW, you wouldn't go into a Honda dealership, right? It’s the same for online dating…
Do you want more control over whom you talk to? If so, Bumble is a great app for women to have control over who contacts them. Do you want to network and socialize with higher caliber singles? Try an app like The League.
It’s like us Latinos say, “para los gustos, los colores” (to each its own).
4. Be proactive and make time to meet singles through online dating.
The key to making progress in dating has less to do with “how” to find the right dating site, and more with “what” to do when you arrive at a dating site that works for you.
There’s a twist for you!
Will you be proactive when it comes to reaching out to people? Or, will you be passive and wait for the guy to reach out to you?
If you're serious about finding love online, then you need to set aside at least 30 minutes of your time, 3 times per day (seriously) to searching for matches and answering messages.
If you prefer to use your mobile device more than your desktop computer, make sure your chosen dating site(s) also has an easy-to-use app so you can be productive while on the go.
5. Optimize your financial investment.
You get what you pay for. Online dating sites aren't in the business of helping you find love. They're in the business of helping you meet singles.
Another twist for ya!
When it comes to making a financial investment in your love life, be judicious about the amount of money you put into apps and sites. Keep track of the subscription that’s giving you the results you want, and cut out the rest.
Generally, a problem with online dating success isn’t the fault of dating sites; it's your online presence.
Optimizing your dating profile is the single largest contributor to the results you get online. If your photography has issues and/or if the descriptions of yourself and what you’re looking for are not clearly and concisely stated, then expect disappointing results (for example, no messages... or worse; being flooded with messages from the wrong crowd).
So what should you do next?
If you want to be successful at online dating, the reality is that it takes time. But if you want better results faster, then be an active participant in the process (there’s hope after all).
Don’t let any of this overwhelm you…
As long as you have a handle on your expectations, do the work and breathe through the frustrations. Like anything else in life, it’ll be well worth the effort.
If you want extra help (or need some “hand holding” through the process), look into getting a professional like me to help you.
As a bestselling author and a certified matchmaker, I’ve specialized in helping singles navigate this part of their lives since 2012 with a 96% success rate. Find out what your online profile says about you and book a free 15-minute strategy session.
Remember, someone wonderful awaits you! Give yourself the best chance to meet them once and for all.